Holding On

As the nation goes crazy around us, I have been looking inward to things that I can hold on to. Maybe this is an avoidance strategy, but when I sleep with Fiona's hand brushing my face, I just want to hold on to this moment for awhile. Having these two teenagers just serves to show how fast time slips by. I had the same feeling watching my two younger sisters grow up. I often think of Nell's little red nose and Ivy's rosy cheeks wistfully. I was so torn between wanting to know who they were going to be, and desperately wanted to keep them little and cuddly (and easier to boss around). Those times that we want to pass quickly are juxtaposed against those that we want to have last on and on. Hugging Raif now is all bones and muscular ropes, and when Cora sits on my lap I disappear beneath her. We are looking so forward to having that house done, but that only means we are closer to Raif graduating, Cora driving, and Fiona starting school.

Taken at Snowflake in Duluth by the wonderful Sarah Hansen.

Skiing is life right now, and that is such a positive force in our lives. The kids are having successful seasons both individually and with their teams. Best are the times when the sun is shining and the snow sparkles as we witness their efforts to finish the race leaving everything on the course. I am still struggling to learn to skate ski (my efforts include many falls and one broken pole). Mark's skiing time has been limited by work and weather, but he has managed to get out a few times too. Fiona is learning to ski with her little snowman skis, and she is just sad that she is not old enough to be on the team!

These photos are taken by the talented Joe Bianco, father of one of the skiers on the varsity girls' team. We love the way everyone cheers for all the kids on the team from the smallest jr. high girl to the fastest varsity athletes.

This month has brought helping visitors in the form of my mom and Tom, as well as my uncle Eric and Mark's parents. Teamwork to win! The insulation and drywall are both installed thanks to the many hands. First fiberglass in the wall cavities and ceiling, then foil faced foam over that, followed by drywall. Everyone brought meals and drinks which is so helpful as we try to keep these hungry kids fed. So exciting to see the interior taking shape, and with each layer the warmth continues to increase. This morning I walked over to take some photos and found the interior warm from the sun even though there hadn't been a fire in the stove for few days. Speaking of the stove, we splurged on a pretty wood stove with copper side panels for the living room. It has improved the working conditions, and given us a glimpse into what comfortable days are to come next winter.

The new stove gives a welcome glow to the space.

View looking out of the loft towards the lake.

 

View looking from the loft down the stairs.

 

This the living room wall opposite the stove.

View of the sauna from one of the bedroom windows

 

Pantry in the kitchen.

Looking down the hallway towards the bedrooms from the kitchen.

This is the fir flooring that is stacked in the house to acclimate to the house environment.

Next step is taping and mudding the walls, as well as installing some wood in certain parts. Mark has decided to put wood panelling inside the closets, which making hanging hardware so much easier and frees him from the pesky task of taping and mudding in those cramped spaces. The loft will get a wood ceiling, which will provide a beautiful warm feeling. Painting walls will be a very exciting change, as well as installing the lighting fixtures. The month of February will be very big for the house project!

I have been suffering from a case of the winter cleaning blues - if that is such a thing. I just am sick of picking up toys, clothes, crayons, shoes, boots, bags, and books. I am fully aware that moving to a new house won't fix this problem, but I am so excited to have more space! I know that the house we are living in is large compared to many smaller inhabited by larger families but it feels so small. Our old armchair has collapsed and now offers a uniquely reclined position to anyone who chooses to sit. We are refusing to buy new furniture until we move, so it stays in the living room. Our entry is full of ski equipment and school bags, while the vents are home to all of the ski boots and skates needing to dry out. These will all have a proper place in the new house, not just a temporary parking in the places we walk.

It feels so strange to write about all of these small insignificant changes our lives when the news is yelling at me all the time. I am awake to the forces of politics but deeply saddened. I am reading and watching, taking note and having deep discussions with my kids. I have attended no marches, but have used my like finger (as well as haha, wow, sad, angry). I don't want to be divided from friends who have different views from mine, but find it difficult to find a way to talk to people who don't accept the same truths. (?) "Alternative facts" are a joke in our house as I am sure they are in many. Both Mark and I feel on edge a little about the craziness we feel that we are observing. Since the purpose of this blog is not to share my political positions, I am wary of delving into all of the issues. Suffice it to say that I am still waiting for Trump to prove that he is worthy of his position. Respect for the office is given to those who take seriously their service to all Americans. Issues aside, how one performs the duties in a job should be transparent and fair, treating all with respect. I will be watching for evidence of this.

Meanwhile, I will be holding on to my little family and trying to make a difference in the lives of the children I teach.